He knows I love Him. I love Him so much. And this love increased every time I learn something new about Him. I sent Him letters of the pain and agony I went through, letters of the joy and happiness I experienced in my everyday life. I wrote letters after letters without getting bored and always waited for a reply. I knew that I had to be wise enough to understand His signs that He sent to me in my way so I can act upon them. I knew that I had to be honest in my love to Him, a pure love that cannot be shared. And here was the challenge! I worked to be so, to live only for Him, and I started to cleanse everything in my heart expect Him. It took time…very much time. I stopped loving things in this life for the sake of His love. I sacrificed my desires for the sake of the His love. I read books about Him, and I started to learn about His qualities and attributes and it was amazing, all of it. I still know that the 99 beautiful Names I have learned are not enough to let me know everything about Him… He granted me comfort; He freed me of my afflictions; He gave me relief; He eased the agonies of my soul; He dried my tears away; He healed my soul; He cured my illness and He showered me with His great Mercy, though I may not deserve it. Allah blessed me with His love, the greatest bounty He bestowed upon me. ♥
Being unshakably committed to my Islamic values in all situations was the hardest. I knew that (to speak) a word of justice to an oppressive ruler is something that needs courage, and I knew that I may lose friends, my job and many other things but I also knew that this is the best thing to do in the path of Allah, so I did not hesitate to speak out. And I did! And yes, I lost some friends. And I lost my job.
Trying to persuade people around me of my thoughts and goals was another challenge to me. But it didn’t always work. The important thing was to try to be myself and never let others to cloud my mind.
Sometimes, we cry and cry without being able to say anything, we may try to bear the pain with our teeth clenched, our tears may flow nonstop and our eyes may hurt, but most importantly is to know that beautiful things will come and that Allah’s plans are always the best for us. I learned that we human beings, and due to our very limited knowledge and wisdom, it sometimes may seem that there are extremism, injustice and contradiction in certain situations we go through, but the fact is that Allah’s absolute divine justice dominates the whole universe and a true believer will certainly find unbounded justice in that which he went through by going deeper into his life and taking into consideration everything happened to him. My lesson is: to be more patient to witness the last chapter of our story where justice will appear and happiness and satisfaction will prevail.
It’s a joy I am proud to know. I just love it because simply I provide plated food made with my own hands and creativity — even if I am following a recipe. It’s not just the family or friends gatherings that we enjoy; it’s everything behind the scene as well, the smell of the garlic, the perfectly sliced onion, and the crackle from the skillet. I learned to cook/bake some Turkish, Lebanese, Indian food and they all were amazing. I am excited to try the ten new foods I’ll cook from ten different cultures in 2016, inshaAllah!
2015 to me was the best of times, and the worst of times… My 2015 in one word is, AWAKENING!
I thank everyone gave me an advice, everyone loved me unconditionally, everyone taught me something new, everyone let me feel happy, everyone made duaa for me in their prayers. I love you all.