Can she… get divorced?!💔


Her voice said it all. She could hardly speak and cannot even express her feelings very well. At first, I didn’t want to ask her what happened, so I just asked general questions about her family, herself and her husbands work. She answered to all questions with alhamdulliah for everything! Then I thought, she has always been like a sister to me, but after she got married we rarely saw each other and we rarely had a chance to go out together!

She started to cry. It was a long pause before I was able to ask her, what has happened habibti?! She didn’t want to say anything at the beginning, and then told me, ‘just forget about it, IsraEverything will change soon, inshAllah!’

At that moment I really wanted to know so I can help in anyway. I insisted. With her crying voice, she started to slowly explain to me what she’s going through. Listening to her, I was shocked. I cried together with her when she cried. I tried to understand her agony and pain and I started to talk as if I was her marriage counsellor. I don’t like being put in such situations but she’s very dear to me and I had to talk as she was my younger sister- giving her advices.

I was at the hairdresser in the morning when the hairdresser asked me whether I am married or not! …I am very used to this question- and I reminded myself that I shouldn’t be concerned about other people’s eyes and words. I replied with a NO and I then left. She was ‘sorry’ to know that I’m still single and then she said many things that I didn’t like but that’s something every unmarried young woman has to hear and bear.

The hairdresser wanted to remind me of how beautiful being married really is, but then, and after I finished the call in the evening, I was thinking of how scary it might be when a marriage goes wrong?! The wife starts thinking first and foremost about her children. About her being divorced and then talked about. She starts to think of the years that she has sacrificed for her family and how she didn’t develop her own self in education and work!

Marriage and  family life, which are so central to the stability of a community, are given such importance in the Islamic scheme of things that marriage is described as being ‘half the faith’. This is the fact that has to be recognised by all Muslims; men and women, and that has to be taken seriously.

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5 thoughts on “Can she… get divorced?!💔

  1. Its sad to know about your friend’s condition, I hope goodness approaches her and results in she smiling forever in this life and the next one.

    Yes i agree that the constitution of marriage is something that’s failing a lot lately in our society and it has become more of a gamble than an actual thing.

    However at the same time, i think people need to realise that we can survive without copulating and its not necessary for human beings to get into this gamble because tbh its just much more troubles than joy. I am not married myself but i have seen so many people, near to me at work having their lives destroyed because of marriage, there’s too much stuff that comes along with it.

    I know celibacy is wrong but if you are not going to get your life improved in Deen terms than it is better not to get married, i can be wrong but that’s what my decision is about this factor of life.

    Again i pray that your friend finds peace soon in her life. Take Care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Bilal and Ameen to your beauiful duaa.
      It depends on how we choose our partners. Do people choose wisely? I don’t know, but the number of damaged marriages and percentage of the divorced women- at least in my society- stays it all.
      When men and women fully understand their responsibilites according to the Qur’an and Sunnah, only then we can find a successful community.
      May Allah change things to the better.

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      • The link is actually not working tho.

        No worries 🙂

        I don’t think it can really work since people are imperfect and imperfect people who are on religion time & again would bring on to destruction of marriages.

        Men are different than women – and women are different than men. I don’t know but im just not convinced over the fact that it can work nowadays unless one just sacrifices themselves and there is no love in it at all, its just a responsibility and a duty after the kids – and it stays like that all life.

        Take care 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I have seen men intentionally have children as soon as possible so their wives are “trapped” and financially dependent on the man, and can’t leave. For those who provide financial stability for the family, whether it is the husband or the wife, this is not a license to mistreat the family. Allah (swt) hears the prayers and groans and crying of a sad and hurt wife, and the man will face severe judgment if he survives his wife.
    I have to laugh at hair dressers who take it upon themselves to give advice for everything, no matter what country it is in. I’ve had stylists give me legal advice not knowing that I’m an attorney. If my hair dresser asked me if I was married, I would say something like, “I am so glad that you decided to ask me to marry you! When are we going to get married, I need to call my mom and give her the news!” Then start crying tears of joy and hug her. She will never ask again.
    Be selective and patient Isra, and don’t change who you are for anybody. I am sorry to hear your friend is struggling. I frequently remind myself of the Prophet’s advice to never look at/envy the people above you, but only look at the people below you and be grateful for what you have. I think this advice is too often not applied on issues of marriage–so many of us look at what we think is a perfect marriage or perfect family, when we should be looking in the other direction and realize that some people (mentally and physically handicapped, terminally ill) will never get married even if they wanted to. I have seen some really really bad couples that are living and walking proof that Allah (swt) exists because they are too stupid and dysfunctional to survive without divine intervention.

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    • That ‘s very true. And this is seen here as well, unfortuently!
      I learned to do most things by my own so I don’t visit hairdressers, and yes as you said, they don’t hesitate to give advices in everything to everyone…
      Hahaha, a perect response, Ubayd. I think I need time to get used to such responses! 😉
      Shukran ya Ubayd ❤

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